Introduction: The Overlooked Role of Women in Ramadan
Ramadan is a month of spiritual renewal, fasting, and devotion, but for many women, it’s also a month of increased responsibility and hidden labor. From preparing suhoor at dawn to cleaning up after iftar, caring for children, and balancing their own acts of worship, women often shoulder the bulk of household duties during this holy month.
For wives, mothers, and sisters, this added workload can be physically and emotionally draining. Yet, many men may be unaware of the quiet sacrifices being made behind the scenes. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said:
“The best of you are those who are best to their families.” (Sunan At-Tirmidhi)
This Ramadan, men have a unique opportunity to ease the burden on their wives and mothers by supporting them both practically and emotionally. Helping out in the kitchen, sharing childcare duties, and showing emotional support are all acts of worship. In fact, helping others is a form of sadaqah (charity), and Allah promises immense reward for those who ease the burdens of others.
This guide will highlight practical ways for men to support their wives and mothers during Ramadan, ensuring that women also have time for worship, reflection, and self-care.
How Men Can Support Their Wives During Ramadan
For many wives, Ramadan feels like a juggling act. They balance fasting, prayer, and reflection with meal prep, childcare, and cleaning. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Husbands can step up and share the load, ensuring that their wives have time for spiritual growth and self-care.
Here’s how men can lighten the burden on their wives during Ramadan.
1. Take Over Meal Prep (or Share the Responsibility)
One of the biggest tasks during Ramadan is preparing iftar (the meal to break the fast) and suhoor (the pre-dawn meal). Traditionally, this responsibility falls on women, but men can play a significant role in the kitchen too.
How Men Can Help:
- Take Over the Kitchen One Day a Week: Designate one or two days when you prepare iftar.
- Help With Chopping, Washing, and Cleaning: Even if you’re not confident in cooking, you can help chop vegetables, clean utensils, or wash dishes.
- Batch Cooking and Meal Prepping: On weekends, help prepare large batches of food that can be frozen and reused later in the week.
Why It Matters:
Cooking is time-consuming and draining, especially when fasting. By stepping in, men can give their wives time to focus on their worship, rest, and self-care.
2. Share Childcare Responsibilities
If you have young children, your wife is likely managing the demands of feeding, cleaning, and entertaining them — all while fasting. The emotional and physical strain of looking after kids during Ramadan can be exhausting.
How Men Can Help:
- Take the Kids Out: Take the children to the park or on a walk so your wife can rest or pray in peace.
- Engage the Kids in Activities: Keep children entertained with educational activities or crafts related to Ramadan.
- Do the Bedtime Routine: Take charge of bedtime by reading stories, helping with baths, or putting them to sleep.
Why It Matters:
Supporting your wife with childcare gives her time for personal reflection, Quran reading, and prayer. Ramadan is not just about fasting — it’s about spiritual growth, and both partners deserve time to nurture their iman (faith).
3. Take On Cleaning Duties
Cleaning is one of the most invisible and overlooked tasks, but it can consume hours of time each day. During Ramadan, after iftar, cleaning up the kitchen can be especially exhausting.
How Men Can Help:
- Clean the Kitchen After Iftar: Take charge of the cleanup — washing dishes, wiping counters, and putting leftovers away.
- Declutter and Clean in Advance: Before Ramadan begins, help with a deep clean of the house so that maintenance is easier during Ramadan.
- Do Laundry or Sweep the Floor: It’s simple, but vacuuming, sweeping, or doing laundry can ease the daily load on your wife.
Why It Matters:
By doing these chores, men free up their wives’ time to focus on their spiritual well-being. Cleaning is also an opportunity for men to practice humility and follow the Sunnah of the Prophet (PBUH), who actively helped with household chores.
4. Be Emotionally Supportive
Sometimes, it’s not just about the practical tasks — it’s about feeling seen, heard, and supported. Ramadan can be an emotional time, especially if your wife is feeling tired, anxious, or overwhelmed.
How Men Can Help:
- Ask Her How You Can Help: Sometimes, just asking “How can I support you today?” is all it takes.
- Give Words of Affirmation: Recognize her efforts with sincere words like:
- “I see how much effort you’re putting in, and I appreciate it.”
- “You’re doing an amazing job balancing everything.”
- Be Patient and Kind: Fasting can make people feel irritable. Stay calm, show patience, and avoid criticism.
Why It Matters:
When women feel emotionally supported, their mental well-being improves. It also strengthens the bond between husband and wife, which is one of the key goals of marriage.
How Men Can Support Their Mothers During Ramadan
While wives often bear the bulk of household duties, mothers face unique challenges too, especially as they grow older. Many mothers continue to cook and host iftar for extended family, even as they age. If your mother is elderly, supporting her during Ramadan becomes an act of birr al-walidayn (kindness to parents).
Here’s how you can support your mother this Ramadan.
1. Call or Visit Her Regularly
Even if you live far away, a simple phone call can brighten her day. Ramadan can feel lonely for elderly mothers, especially if their children have moved out.
How Men Can Help:
- Call Her Daily: Call to check in, ask how she’s feeling, and remind her to stay hydrated.
- Visit Her In Person: If you live close, bring food or spend time with her, even if it’s just for 30 minutes.
Why It Matters:
The Quran commands us to show kindness and compassion to our parents. Visiting your mother or calling her can uplift her spirit and prevent her from feeling isolated.
2. Help With Physical Tasks
If your mother is older, she may struggle with cleaning, cooking, or preparing food. Even if she insists that she’s “fine,” remember that helping her is an act of worship.
How Men Can Help:
- Do Her Grocery Shopping: Ask for her shopping list and purchase everything she needs.
- Help With Iftar Prep: Take over iftar preparation for one day or bring prepared food to her home.
- Do Physical Tasks: Clean her kitchen, wash her dishes, or carry heavy groceries for her.
Why It Matters:
As parents age, physical labor becomes more difficult. Your support lightens their load and increases your rewards with Allah. The Prophet (PBUH) said:
“Paradise lies beneath the feet of mothers.” (Sunan An-Nasa’i)
3. Show Kindness and Patience
It’s not just about physical help — emotional support is essential too. Show patience and compassion toward your mother, especially when she becomes irritable during fasting.
How Men Can Help:
- Avoid arguments, even when disagreements arise.
- Show patience and speak gently.
- Take a moment to hug her, smile at her, and thank her for her sacrifices.
Why It Matters:
Your mother sacrificed for you as a child. Ramadan is a time to give back. Every act of kindness and patience toward your mother is a form of sadaqah.
Conclusion: Supporting Women as an Act of Worship
Ramadan is not just about fasting, prayer, and reflection. It’s also about lightening the burdens of others. By supporting their wives and mothers, men fulfill a vital part of Ramadan’s spiritual objectives — compassion, mercy, and selflessness.
Key Takeaways:
- Help your wife with cooking, cleaning, and childcare.
- Support your mother by helping with shopping, meal prep, and emotional support.
- Be patient, kind, and aware of the hidden labor women perform during Ramadan.
Supporting your family isn’t just a kind gesture — it’s a form of sadaqah. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said:
“The best of you are those who are best to their families.” (Sunan At-Tirmidhi)
This Ramadan, aim to be the best to your family by shouldering the load and ensuring that the women in your life can also experience the full spiritual benefits of the holy month. May Allah reward every effort, seen and unseen, with barakah and peace. Ameen.
